NAVIGATION
✦ About Me ✦ Cemetery Guide ✦ Dark Library ✦ Candle Shrine ✦ Diary ✦ Sign Guestbook ✦ Dark Links
QUICK FACTS
| Name: | Morticia |
| Age: | 17 |
| Location: | Raven's Crest |
| Mood: | Melancholy |
| Music: | Bauhaus, Evanescence |
~* About xX_MorticiaGrave_Xx *~
Welcome 2 my world. I'm Morticia, a 17-year-old girl who finds beauty in the darkness that others fear. Most ppl think I'm weird, but I don't care anymore. There's something deeply moving about embracing the shadows, about understanding that death & decay r just parts of the natural cycle. While my classmates r obsessing over boy bands & shopping malls, I'm exploring abandoned cemeteries, collecting ancient books, & lighting candles in the dark.
I got into the gothic lifestyle about 2 years ago when I discovered the music of Bauhaus & The Cure. It wasn't just the music — it was an entire philosophy. A way of seeing the world that's honest about suffering, about the brevity of life, about beauty existing alongside decay. That's when I started visiting cemeteries. I know that sounds morbid, but there's something so peaceful about walking among the headstones. It's like history is speaking 2 u, reminding u that everyone who ever lived will one day rest in the earth.
My friends think I'm obsessed w/ death, but that's not it at all. I'm obsessed w/ LIFE — real life, not the fake suburban plastic life that everyone around me seems 2 be living. I want 2 feel things deeply. I want 2 read books that disturb me, that make me think differently about the world. I want 2 light candles & sit in the darkness & just BE. Is that so wrong?
My other main passions r old books & candles. There's something about holding a book that's 50 or 100 years old, knowing that countless hands have turned those pages, that countless minds have been changed by those words... it's almost sacred. And candles? They're meditation 4 me. The flicker of the flame, the way the wax melts, the way a single candle can illuminate an entire room — there's magic in that simplicity.
I'm starting 2 realize that maybe my interests aren't as weird as I thought. There r others like me out there. People who understand that beauty & darkness r not opposites — they're two sides of the same coin. This homepage is my way of connecting w/ them, of sharing my world.
⚰ Cemetery Guide: Places of Quiet Beauty
I've visited over 20 cemeteries in my region, & each one has its own unique character. Here r some of my favorites that I've documented:
Evergreen Memorial Cemetery (1847)
Atmosphere: Hauntingly beautiful. Established in the Victorian era, this cemetery has the most AMAZING wrought-iron gates. The trees r ancient & gnarled, & on foggy mornings, it feels like u've stepped into another time period entirely. The graves r arranged on rolling hills, & many have elaborate monuments w/ carved angels & crosses.
Notable Graves: Lots of Civil War soldiers here. Found a stone dedicated 2 someone who died in 1853 — that's almost 150 years ago. Made me think about how they're forgotten now, just names in the earth.
Best Time 2 Visit: Early morning in autumn. The mist & falling leaves r incredible.
Raven's Rest Cemetery (1921)
Atmosphere: More modern than Evergreen, but still maintains an eerie elegance. This cemetery has lots of mausoleum structures that r absolutely stunning in their architecture. Some graves r marked w/ simple stones, others w/ elaborate sculptures of praying hands or weeping willows.
Notable Feature: There's an entire section dedicated 2 children who died young. It's heartbreaking & beautiful at the same time. The stones r smaller & often have toys or flowers left by family members.
Photography: The iron fence around the perimeter is PERFECT 4 gothic aesthetic photos. OMG!
Shady Hollow Cemetery (1834)
Atmosphere: The oldest in our area. This cemetery is heavily wooded & legitimately shadowy. There's a small stone chapel on the grounds that's been abandoned 4 decades. Standing in front of it gives u chills.
Interesting Discovery: Found graves of entire families who died within days of each other — probably cholera or some other plague. The reality of historical suffering is so present here.
Warnings: Gets creepy after dark (I've never gone then, but rumors r abundant lol). Best visited during daylight, around 3-5pm when the light gets golden & everything looks haunted in a good way.
✦ Pro Tip: Always visit cemeteries w/ respect. Never deface graves. Leave tributes if u feel moved 2. The caretakers usually r nice if u ask permission b4 photographing.
📖 Dark Library: Books That Haunt
Reading is where my soul comes alive. These r the books that have shaped my understanding of the world. I collect vintage editions when I can find them.
This book is EVERYTHING. The concept of beauty being corrupted, of a soul being replaced by vanity & moral decay, while the physical form remains perfect... it's so dark & intelligent. I've read it 3 times now & each time I find new layers. The way Wilde critiques society while also creating one of the most seductive villain-protagonists in all of literature is genius. My copy is falling apart (literally, the spine is broken), but I wouldn't trade it 4 anything.
The moors, the passion, Heathcliff's obsession & rage, the way love & violence r intertwined... this is the definition of gothic romance. Some ppl say it's 2 violent or 2 dark, but I think those ppl r boring. The story of two people destroying each other & everyone around them in the name of love is more honest than any modern romance. It's beautiful & terrible.
I read "The Raven" 4 the 1st time when I was 14 & it literally changed my life. The way Poe uses rhythm & repetition 2 build psychological dread is masterful. And the imagery! The darkness, the melancholy narrator, the sense of being haunted by loss — I felt that in my SOUL. I have this poem memorized & often recite it by candlelight. Yes, I'm that person now lol.
Jane is the ultimate goth heroine. She's poor, she's plain (in her own estimation), she's treated badly by society, & yet she has this inner strength & moral code that no1 can break. The gothic elements — the mysterious laughter in the attic, the supernatural events, Rochester's secrets — add 2 the darkness of this story. But it's also about independence & standing 4 ur beliefs. I aspire 2 be like Jane.
This book is INSANE. Written in the 1700s but it's more graphic & dark than most modern horror. Religious corruption, demonic possession, forbidden love, betrayal — it has everything. The prose is ornate & beautiful even when describing the most horrible things. It's a true gothic masterpiece.
★ Currently Reading: "The Haunting of Hill House" by Shirley Jackson — omg its SO GOOD
🕯️ Candle Shrine: Illumination in Darkness
I light candles 4 meditation, 4 ambiance, 4 ritual. There's something about open flame that grounds me in the present moment. Here's my collection & preferences:
Favorite Scents
- Black Amber & Oud — Deep, mysterious, slightly resinous. This is my go-2 scent 4 serious meditation sessions.
- Raven's Feather (dark musk, oak, leather) — From a specialty gothic candle maker. Smells like old libraries & storms.
- Graveyard Rose — Rose scent mixed w/ earth & sandalwood. Floral but dark. Contradictory & perfect.
- Midnight Rain — Petrichor scent (the smell of rain on pavement). SO atmospheric.
- Vanilla Noir — Sweet but not overly so. Mixed w/ darker notes like patchouli & vetiver.
Candle Ritual Favorites
- The Midnight Hour — Light 3 candles at exactly midnight, sit in darkness 4 13 minutes, reflect on the day. U'd be surprised how therapeutic this is.
- Reading by Candlelight — No electric lights, just me & a book & multiple candles. The flickering light makes the reading experience 2x more immersive.
- Melancholy Meditation — When I'm sad or angry or overwhelmed, I light every dark-colored candle I own & just sit w/ my feelings. Sounds morbid but it helps process emotions.
- Full Moon Vigil — I light candles in moon-shaped holders & watch them burn while journaling under the moonlight (when weather permits).
My Collection Stats
| Total Candles Owned: | 47 |
| Favorite Brands: | Diptyque, Jo Malone, Local Goth Makers |
| Avg. Candles Lit Per Week: | 12-15 |
| Most Expensive Candle: | $45 (3-wick, handmade) |
| Preferred Burn Time: | 3-4 hours |
⚠ Safety Note: Always keep candles away from flammable materials & never leave them unattended. The gothic aesthetic is not worth a house fire, trust me.
📝 Diary: Thoughts in the Dark
October 29, 2002
Halloween is literally 2 days away & I'm SO excited. I've been planning my costume 4 weeks — I'm going as a gothic bride (corrupted, of course). The dress is black velvet w/ blood-red trim. I found it at a vintage store downtown. My mom doesn't understand why I'm so excited 2 "celebrate death" but she doesn't get that Halloween is about acknowledging the darker parts of existence that most ppl pretend don't exist. I'm going 2 visit Evergreen Cemetery on Halloween night & light candles at some of the graves. It'll be beautiful & morbid & perfect.
October 15, 2002
Had the WORST day at school today. Some girl in my English class (let's call her Ashley, because of course her name is Ashley) made a comment about "goths who think they're vampires lol." I HATE when ppl assume that's what goth is about. I don't think I'm a vampire. I'm just... living authentically, embracing the darkness that's always been a part of me. The gothic aesthetic isn't a costume — it's a way of engaging w/ the world. Anyway, I didn't respond. There's no point arguing w/ ppl who can't see beyond surface-level appearances. Instead, I went 2 Raven's Rest Cemetery after school & spent 2 hours just walking among the graves. It calmed me down. Nature is honest in a way that most ppl aren't.
September 30, 2002
FINALLY found an original copy of "The Monk" 4 only $12 at the antique bookstore downtown! It's from 1906, not the original 1796 edition, but it's still incredible. The pages r yellowed & fragile & some of the text is smudged, but that makes it feel more real 2 me. Like I'm holding history. I spent the whole afternoon just smelling the pages (yes, I'm that person who sniffs old books — the smell of aging paper & leather is better than any candle scent). Spent the evening by candlelight, reading the first chapter. Already 100% obsessed.
September 15, 2002
School started again. HATE IT. Surrounded by ppl who don't understand anything about beauty or darkness or the complexity of human existence. They r all worried about who's dating who & what they r wearing 2 the football game. Meanwhile I'm trying 2 grapple w/ mortality & meaning & the fleeting nature of existence. We r all going 2 die & most ppl just... pretend that doesn't matter? I don't get it. Anyway, at least I have my cemeteries & my books & my candles. That's all I need 2 be happy.
August 22, 2002
Spent the entire day working on this webpage. I've been learning HTML from a library book (yes, I'm a nerd) & I wanted 2 create a space that truly reflects my soul. Something dark & beautiful & unapologetically goth. Finally got the layout right! Used a table structure (it's not the most elegant code but it WORKS). Set up the dark backgrounds, got the dividers in place, added my cemetery guide & book collection. I feel like this page is now a true extension of myself. When ppl visit, they'll understand me better. Or at least they'll understand that I'm not trying 2 be cute or trendy — I'm trying 2 be REAL.
💀 Sign My Guestbook! 💀
Please leave a message in my guestbook! I love reading comments from visitors who understand the beauty of darkness.
omg your cemetery guide is AMAZING!! I've been dying 2 visit Evergreen Memorial but didn't know where 2 start. Your descriptions r so vivid & respectful at the same time. Also, ur book collection is incredible. I'm currently reading Jane Eyre 4 the 3rd time & I agree w/ everything u said. The gothic elements r what make it so timeless. Added u 2 my links page! Keep this website updated — it's become one of my favorite places on the web. ✦
Finally, someone else who understands that goth is not about being "dark & depressing" but about being HONEST. Ur diary entries really resonated w/ me — especially the one about ppl not understanding the philosophy behind it. I'm also 17 & surrounded by ppl who think I'm weird, but I refuse 2 change. Your candle ritual section inspired me 2 start my own midnight meditation practice. Thx 4 this amazing page. U r not alone in this world. Stay dark. ✦
Wow, another person who collects vintage books! I'm 24 & I've been collecting gothic & dark literature since my teenage years. Just wanted 2 say — keep reading, keep exploring cemeteries, keep lighting those candles. This phase (or lifestyle, rather) of ur life is shaping who u will become. I'm grateful I stayed true 2 myself instead of conforming in high school. Also, The Monk is a masterpiece. Have u read Vathek by William Beckford? U might like it. Thx 4 the wonderful website! ✦
Your review of Wuthering Heights is PERFECT. I've never been able 2 articulate why I love that book so much, but u nailed it — "beautiful & terrible." That's exactly what it is. Also, I'm totally stealing ur cemetery guide idea. I have a list of old cemeteries near me that I want 2 visit & document. Maybe I'll create my own guide page. Thx 4 the inspiration! BTW, ur website is one of the few I've visited recently that actually has SUBSTANCE. So many pages r just "hi, here's some random stuff," but urs has a cohesive vision & real passion. Love it! ✦
I found ur page through a dark web ring & I'm so glad I did. Ur approach 2 cemeteries is exactly what I've been looking 4 — respectful, thoughtful, & absolutely beautiful. Most ppl think cemeteries r creepy or depressing, but u understand that they r places of quiet reflection & history. The fact that u've documented the graves u've found & the stories behind them is incredibly moving. I'm saving ur page 2 my favorites. Keep doing what ur doing! ✦
🔗 Dark Links: A Web of Kindred Spirits
✦ Goth Communities & Resources
- The Gothic Subculture Archive — Comprehensive info on goth history, music, fashion & philosophy.
- Bauhaus Official Site — Home of the greatest goth band ever. Their music changed my life.
- The Evanescence Underground — Fan community 4 ppl who understand the beauty of darkness through modern music.
- Victorian Literature & Death Studies — Academic resources about gothic literature & the cultural obsession w/ mortality in the 1800s.
✦ Cemetery & Graveyard Resources
- Find A Grave — Database of cemetery records & grave locations. Incredibly useful 4 genealogy & cemetery tourism.
- Association of Gravestone Studies — Info on historic cemeteries & grave restoration. U should check this out!
- American Cemetery Association — History & preservation of cemeteries as cultural heritage sites.
✦ Literary Resources
- Project Gutenberg — Free digital copies of public domain books including gothic classics. This is where I found digital versions of The Monk & other rare texts!
- Classic Books Online Library — Another great resource 4 vintage literature.
- The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe — Everything by the master of gothic literature.
- Victorian Web — Study material about Victorian era literature & culture.
✦ Friends' Pages (You Should Visit!)
- ~*xX_RavenSoul_Xx*~'s Dark Corner — Amazing cemetery photography & book reviews. We have so much in common!
- DarkPoet_2k3's Soul Archive — Original poetry & reflections on gothic philosophy. Truly moving stuff.
- VictorianGhost's Library — Extensive vintage book collection showcased w/ photos. U can learn SO much from this page.
- ~*xX_BookWorm_LunaX*~'s Study — Gothic literature criticism & personal reading journal. Her Wuthering Heights analysis is incredible.
✦ Web Rings
~* xX_MorticiaGrave_Xx *~'s Gothic Sanctuary
Made with Notepad & Midnight Candles
Last Updated: October 31, 2002
© 2002 Morticia. All rights reserved. Do not steal my content plz. This is MY creative space.
